Surah Baqarah Verses 221 and 222
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, butAllāh invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.
And they ask you about menstruation. Say, "It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from whereAllāh has ordained for you. Indeed, Allāh loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves."
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “A woman may be married for four qualities,
for her property, her rank, her beauty, and her religion; so get the religious one and
prosper.” Agreed upon.
The person who places much emphasis on the first three is clearly more concerned with the dunya and only a believer whose focus is the hereafter would consider a woman, whilst placing much emphasis on her deen b/c he is aware that this is the type of woman who will be a guide and support for him in attaining Allah's (swt) pleasure. Sometimes we just want the best of the best, but only in this world. We claim to have faith in Allah SWT and in the heavens and the hellfire, but then why do we cut ourselves short of goodness? Why do we strive with the utmost effort in getting the best in this world, when surely we can strive to have the best in the hereafter. With regards to marriage, perhaps our focus is limited and it is difficult to look deep and beyond this world. Perhaps it is human nature to want immediate gain and satisfaction, but it is the patient one who will be flying high in the end.
Wealth, social status and beauty are all definite plus points, but for where? only for the duniya, which means they are such small and temporary gains, while the woman who carries out the commandments of Allah SWT is the one who will be more inclined towards fulfilling her husband's rights and striving to lead an islamic lifestyle, bringing harmony and tranquility into the home, which for many, equates to a happy and healthy marriage.
It is unfortunate that the person who carries the deen is never viewed as being of much value, and yet is this person who carries the greatest asset anyone could ever want. And this brings us back to the previous ayahs in which it is discussed that some people will ask for only the duniya and those who are wise will make the du'a 'rabbana aatina fidunya hasanah wa fil aakhirati hasanah waqina adhaabanar." So even if we ask for the best in the hereafter in our prayers, it is important that we show this sincerity in our actions and in the choices we make for ourselves.
Knowing that it is far better to marry a believing slave than a polytheistic woman goes to show how big an asset knowledge of the deen is, but yet many of us still undermine this asset and might see it as trivial or unimportant in comparison to the delightful worldly assets. I think that Insha'Allah if we make the hereafter our focus, the duniya will be easily handed to us, because only when we change our focus, will we change our perspectives on matters and then our priorities and soon enough our definition of success is entirely different from what it use to be. And so in choosing a spouse for yourself, marry the one with the deen and indeed you will be most successful!
We know that the Quran was revealed as a guidance to mankind and it is from these verses that we can see to which extent we are guided. Not only are we guided in our social, and personal life, but this includes our intimate affairs as well. For many people, topics relating to sexual conduct of any sort is deemed as inappropriate or taboo, however Allah SWT has mentioned that there is no hayaa in matters of the deen and in knowing the truth. And with that in mind, Allah SWT has left the doors open to engage in talks relating to highly personal and intimate affairs, however we still maintain our proper islamic character by not becoming vulgar in our speech when discussing such topics. SubhanAllah in this second ayah, we can see the hikmah behind Allah's SWT wisdom in every one of His commandments relating to sexual intercourse. It is Allah's mercy upon women that He made sexual intercourse haraam during the time of their menstrual cycle due to the many changes, both physical and emotional that a woman goes through. Not only that, but the fact that a husband is to be understanding of his wife's condition is yet another example of how Allah swt has truly exalted woman and bestowed great mercy upon them, which are amongst the many blessings of Allah SWT which we seem to take for granted. But after discussing these ayahs, hopefully it was an eye opener for all of us in allowing us to see how merciful Allah swt is to His servants for which we need to show gratitude in the best of ways and that is through our obedience to Allah SWT
Nazia HussainOnsite Student
Taleem Al Quran 2010