Surah Baqarah Verses 228-232
Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allāh has created in their wombs if they believe in Allāh and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allāh is Exalted in Might and Wise.
Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allāh. But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allāh, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allāh, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allāh – it is those who are the wrongdoers.
And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allāh. These are the limits of Allāh, which He makes clear to a people who know.
And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses ofAllāh in jest. And remember the favor of Allāhupon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allāh and know that Allāh is Knowing of all things.
And when you divorce women and they have fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands if they agree among themselves on an acceptable basis. That is instructed to whoever of you believes in Allāhand the Last Day. That is better for you and purer, and Allāh knows and you know not.
As I was taking notes and listening to Sr. Taymiyyah expand on these verses, I recalled the several stories of divorce in my community. Divorce rates are as high as 50% - one Imam of a Masjid in my city said in a Khutbah: "For every marriage contract I witness, I also witness a marriage end in divorce." Every time I hear about a Muslim brother and sister's marriage break up, my heart aches. After learning about these verses, I have a better understanding of why divorce rates have become so high in our community (and unfortunately, in some cases, divorce brings out the worst of the person, and much Gheeba and nameema is done by one side or both). When we learn the roles of the husband and the wife, and how they should treat each other, we see that we have strayed from our roles. Sisters' priorities have changed - this society has affected us and our mentalities have become influenced by the so-called "feminist" movement in the West. True feminism (in the true sense) is embodied in the teachings of Islam. However, instead of realizing this, sisters have assumed a different role in marriage, one which "competes" with the husband's. The understanding of equality does not mean that the husband and wife's actions must be EQUAL! Equality is a balance that puts into consideration the INHERIT differences between man and woman (the differences our sisters today think they make them "weaker" in the eyes of society, while in fact, maker her stronger, freer, and more respected because of them). I will end my thought with this: when a brother or sister get into an argument (which is natural in ANY marriage) - often brothers (or sisters even), let their ego be the decision maker, while ISLAM should be the decision maker. If the husband and wife put ISLAM as the authority in decision making, there would be much less conflict and disagreement in most issues that arise. When Allah is your focus and you HUMBLE yourself to Him, your marriage will also be in focus, and will be much more tranquil, the bond will be stronger, and your vision for your life together will become much clearer. May Allah (swt) grant all my sisters and brothers in Islam righteous spouses, and may those who are already married, put Allah first in all their affairs, Ameen
Sara SakerOnline Student
Taleem Al Quran 2010